The Book of Wellington Part 4

CrownWellington

ANCIENT FRIENDS

Story by Gary Bracelin

I have had the distinct honor of being one of Randy Bowles’ buddies over the years… This guy can be described as a true American Classic. From the first time I met him until today, he is always a joy to be around….

The very first time I met the birthday boy was at a summer yard party at his home. Jim Hughes invites Jan and me along to the fun. As Randy walks up to greet us and shake our hands, Hughes slaps on a handcuff to Randy’s wrist that just happened to be cuffed to a piece of lawn furniture. Guess who got to spend the rest of the afternoon in front of all his guests cuffed to his lawn chair. Very funny….

On one weekend trip to a mountain cabin we are playing a word game with out the help of a Dictionary….. After a hot dispute over the meaning of a word, Randy has us pull over at the first farm house we come to where by he marches up to the door, gets the people to give him the dictionary and away we went. Oh, the rest of the story was it was eleven o’clock at night and he got the people out of bed……Only Bowles…….

If you have never gone to a football game with him you owe it to yourself to try it once… His idea of a tail gate party is to stop by any group of people when he is hungry or thirsty and just ask if they happen to have any extra beer or food… He does offer to pay them for their kindness but 90% of the time it’s free… This takes a little bit of getting use to but after a few times you get the hang of it and away you go….

I wasn’t there for this one, but as the tail goes Randy was on a business trip with one of his associates from work. After coming in a little late, the birthday boy finds his inebriated roommate fast asleep and snoring so loud Randy couldn’t sleep…. So what does Randy do? He helps his buddy out of bed, takes him to the door and lays him down in the hallway outside the room and closes the door. When his buddy awoke the next morning his was laying down half naked with people walking by him….. Randy slept just great and his buddy never knew the difference….

Your the best Big Boy.. Happy 60th .

Gary and Jan Bracelin

CrownWellington

Bowles – You’re No 8

I have played in a couple of Randy’s member-guest tournaments and have had a wonderful time. Unfortunately, because of our combined poor performances, we’ve never finished in the money. As RB says, “There was enough blame to go around.” But one thing I noticed was Randy’s uninspired poor play. For someone who’s supposed to carry an 8 handicap, it’s expected that he carry the team, be a team leader, make the tough and important shots. In the two tournaments, I never once saw Randy live up to the expectation of an 8. Because of Randy’s performance, I had to respond as follows:

In the Multnomah Athletic Club hot room, I was basking in the heat, reading the sports pages when RB walks in. When he sat down and settled in, from behind my paper I loudly announced “Bowles – you’re no 8.” Randy says – “who said that? Fahey, where are you?!”

Two weeks later at Jake’s Restaurant, I spy RB at the bar. From behind a cloud of cigar smoke and lost in a sea of faces I yell out, “Bowles, you’re no eight.” By now, Randy is getting jumpy. As his eyes search the room, he can’t locate me. When we finally connect we have a good laugh, both content in the knowledge that Bowles, you’re no 8.

Bill Fahey

CrownWellington

RW Story  by Don Cruickshank

As usual I was on time for our lunch date at the Rose Manor near Randy’s office, and he was late. I sat down at a table ordered a beer and contemplated the personality flaw that dictated one’s never being on time.

The restaurant was packed and as I awaited Randy’s arrival, I hardly noticed the buzz of conversations created by my fellow diners until it abruptly stopped. There was a dead silence followed by a roar of laughter.

PenisNose

When I turned to view the entrance to see what had caused the commotion, I saw RW with his penis nose scanning the room looking for me. Although I turned away immediately, I was too late. He spotted me and made his way to our table where the telephone he was carrying under his jacket rang. This was long before the advent of the cell phone, and when Randy answered it and handed it to a young lady sitting at the next table with the comment “it’s for you” a look of astonishment passed over her face as she tentatively said “Hello?” At this point Randy and the rest of the restaurant cracked up, the nose came off, and having completely disrupted all around him, RW was ready to order lunch.

CrownWellington

Jan and Tony Marquis

Ode to YDNAR, a diamond in the ruff

There once was a guy named Randy                                                                                            From Phil’s, he dressed as a dandy

He was so thin & tall
Loved to play volleyball
But, around the house, was he handy?

His wife, oh does he adore
In spite of this & that chore Gifting Ficus, Chefflera & flashlight NOT to Cathy’s delight
Still, who could ask for anything more

Living by the course he plays Has he become set in his ways?                                                  The little white ball                                                                                                                                 Is the thrill of it all                                                                                                                             He’s forgotten those Rat-pack days

The picture is soon to come                                                                                                                  A reminder of days of fun At Let’r Buck
We ALL ran a-muck
At rest under the blazing sun

An indulging mate in the tent                                                                                               Observing the vet who is spent                                                                                                            It must be 100 degrees                                                                                                                         Sure beats selling peas                                                                                                                       Resting for the next event

PithHat

CrownWellington

Ode to Randy by Jim and Diana Faville

A long time ago was a guy named Randy Who considered himself to be quite a Dandy

His bachelor life was quite a whirl And it often involved looking for a girl

Although drinking and smoking was his game He had not been successful in winning a dame

One night to a club he did go There he met a songbird who set him aglow

Her name was Cathy who was a great singer And Randy was sure she was a wonderful zinger

He said to be we must go, the songbird said hell no! He offered to ricochet her to fame, only, kind sir, if you give me your name

Randy and Cathy they did wed And ever since have shared the same bed

After the wedding and all that fun Along came Drayton their new born son

Randy sold vegetables and boy did he sell Their lifestyle was great for he did quite well

A big house on the hill he did buy And he was thought of by all as a really good guy

Always a jock and volleyball was his game A big hitter was he until he came up lame

He looked near and far in order to find A sport that to muscles would be more kind

Chess, checkers and croquet he came to find Just did not fit what he had in mind

Golf is the sport that came to the top And all other activities they came to a stop

A hole in one was his goal quite proper He thought it would be a great golf show stopper

He worked and he worked and he wanted it real bad But a hole in one was not his to be had

Cathy took up golf and what do you know She didn’t mean to steal the show

But a hole in one she shot with glee Before one was shot by husband Randy

Randy’s response was quite normal He never was very formal

“The experts all agree all you need is luck And besides all that I don’t give a fuck”

Now the years they have passed and Randy has seen lots of action We are all awaiting what will be the coming attraction

We’re sure that whatever comes about That Randy will survive with lots of clout

On the top of the heap Randy will always be For he is one of the great ones of this century

HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY RANDY Jim & Diana

CrownWellington

Randy Story by Vinton and Carol Mougey

Years ago RB planned a surprise party for Cathy’s Birthday. When Carol and I arrived, the island in the kitchen was covered with every kind of alcohol one could imagine. Randy offered to fix us a drink, only to realize he had purchased no mix of any kind– nor had considered the need for additional ice. Someone rushed out to buy mix and ice–problem solved. Until someone wandered into the dining room to discover another Randy oversight–no food!!!

CrownWellington

Dear Randy,

I’m not able to attend your party and I’m very sad about that, but I will be in San Francisco- it’s Graham’s birthday also. However, here’s my story about you!

As you no doubt remember, I met Cathy about 10-12 years ago on the MAC track. One day we were walking together and there was a men’s volleyball game or tournament going on in the gym below. I was intrigued and looking at the game out of the corner of my eye, when I caught sight of an especially handsome guy with great legs and a vicious spike shot.

v-ballbowlesnbowles

I said to Cathy, Look at that hunk!” Cathy proceeded to lean over the rail & shout “Hey, Randy, Nancy thinks you’re cute.” The whole team looked up at us and everything stopped while the guys whistled at Randy! I could have died on the spot, but I’ll never forget that handsome ‘dude’—still very handsome & sexy, I must say!

Love to you, Randy, & congratulations on your 60th.

Nancy Chernoff

HeartForever

Read previously published issues of THE BOOK of WELLINGTON

Look for the next BOOK OF WELLINGTON publication on December 2, 2014

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About marycatherinelunsford

On the quest to reinventing, Morphing into Author is my newest adventure.
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