As soon as we get in the car, and make sure Randy isn’t driving, Randy asks, “isn’t it time for a road soda”. Randy will repeat that question at least 5 more times during the trip and is simply getting his game face on. He’ll go over the betting lines for all of the football games he’s bet on for the weekend, and smoke his cigarette with half of his head out of the window as a courtesy to the other Musketeers.
By the time we get to the tailgater with a lot of friends of the Musketeers, Randy is getting very excited about the game. He continues to drink beers, smoke and crack jokes to anyone that will listen. And if people he knows aren’t listening, Randy will make new friends who haven’t heard his material, and make them part of the party.
One thing that Randy always worries about is “where am I sitting”. Lately, because of the Ducks success, Randy and Gary have had “standing room only” seats. However, that has not stopped Randy from sitting on the 50-yard line. He has perfected a move that takes him from the losers section, in “standing room only”, to the expensive seats. Not only does he push his way into a place he is not supposed to be, but he makes friends with the people next to him. We know Randy isn’t real proud of what he does, but he always gets a big laugh out of it, and ends up with better seats than the Musketeers who have season tickets!
One of the ways that Randy makes friends in the stands, wherever he is sitting, is because of his notorious binoculars, known simply to the Musketeers as the “binocs”. These “binocs” look like normal binoculars, but they aren’t. Instead, they are nothing more than a decorated flask which allows Randy to skirt security to feed his alcoholic needs during the game. These “binocs” are pretty amazing….I mean they will hold a whole pint of Jack Daniels.